Oh mum I hope you and Ian can forgive me for binning the ashes. I could not cope anymore with them sitting there. I know I tore up the photos but I have other photos. I just could not stand it anymore the ashes being there. I'm trying to cope Mum and its hard, unbearable not being able to talk to you or visit you. Mum its so unbearable. I know I have not cried yet and I really need to but can't find them, if I could it would be a relief.